Facing each other and clutching
a plate between our hands, we hold our arms out, lift gently, then lower. I
take a deep breath. My partner lets go and I hold on firmly, lowering the china
plate to the floor.
a plate between our hands, we hold our arms out, lift gently, then lower. I
take a deep breath. My partner lets go and I hold on firmly, lowering the china
plate to the floor.
“You have to let go,” she says
gently. “Let’s try again.”
gently. “Let’s try again.”
I take another deep breath and
we do it again. This time we let go at the same moment and the plate, safely
enclosed in a bag, smashes into tiny shards.
we do it again. This time we let go at the same moment and the plate, safely
enclosed in a bag, smashes into tiny shards.
“Mazal Tov!”
Brothers, sisters, nieces and
nephews break into song, clapping and dancing.
nephews break into song, clapping and dancing.
This small action speaks volumes
as I now feel that my daughter is officially engaged. She has grown up, found a
partner with whom she has decided to share her life and is leaving her
childhood home to start anew.
as I now feel that my daughter is officially engaged. She has grown up, found a
partner with whom she has decided to share her life and is leaving her
childhood home to start anew.
My hands tightly clutched that
plate just as I used to hold my daughter as a baby. And now my hands are empty.
I have just let her go.
plate just as I used to hold my daughter as a baby. And now my hands are empty.
I have just let her go.
The two mothers peeked at the shards inside the bag. These tiny fragments can never be put back together and as such,
are symbolic of our children’s commitment to leave behind their former lives. This
is true finality and an ending of something big.
are symbolic of our children’s commitment to leave behind their former lives. This
is true finality and an ending of something big.
The smashed plate is also an
echo of the glass that will be smashed under the chuppah, a powerful symbol
that tells of the destruction of the Temple. Even at our happiest times, we
must be reminded of brokenness and suffering.
echo of the glass that will be smashed under the chuppah, a powerful symbol
that tells of the destruction of the Temple. Even at our happiest times, we
must be reminded of brokenness and suffering.
The two mothers share in this
tradition to show that we are now part of a new, combined family. I read a
beautiful explanation that says the mothers’ power in breaking the plate is a
symbol of the strength of Jewish women in upholding tradition and marriage.
tradition to show that we are now part of a new, combined family. I read a
beautiful explanation that says the mothers’ power in breaking the plate is a
symbol of the strength of Jewish women in upholding tradition and marriage.
 |
| Shutterstock image |
This new combined family is
also the completion of the bridge we built as olim. My husband and I brought
our family to Israel 11 years ago. My now engaged daughter, who was ten years old when she arrived, could
not speak Hebrew. The Israeli culture was surprisingly foreign and the customs
were different.
also the completion of the bridge we built as olim. My husband and I brought
our family to Israel 11 years ago. My now engaged daughter, who was ten years old when she arrived, could
not speak Hebrew. The Israeli culture was surprisingly foreign and the customs
were different.
The parents of both bride
and groom have a shared story; we all arrived as Jews from the diaspora coming to
Israel to build new lives.
and groom have a shared story; we all arrived as Jews from the diaspora coming to
Israel to build new lives.
For me, I originally thought aliyah
was a simple process of learning Hebrew but have since realized that the
differences run far deeper. Moving here as an older olah, I soon came to understand
that we would never really acclimatize.
was a simple process of learning Hebrew but have since realized that the
differences run far deeper. Moving here as an older olah, I soon came to understand
that we would never really acclimatize.
I then reframed and considered my
husband and I to be bridge builders, not fully belonging in either Canada or
Israel. We could only offer our children a sturdy bridge, but could do no more.
When the time came, our children, who would be brought up here in Israel, would
cross over.
husband and I to be bridge builders, not fully belonging in either Canada or
Israel. We could only offer our children a sturdy bridge, but could do no more.
When the time came, our children, who would be brought up here in Israel, would
cross over.
And now my daughter has navigated
her way and reached the other side. She is marrying a native-born Israeli (born
to English speakers) and their language together is Hebrew. They both served in
the IDF, listen to Israeli music, sing niggunim and learn Torah together, all in Hebrew. They have
shared goals and want to live meaningful non-materialistic lives.
her way and reached the other side. She is marrying a native-born Israeli (born
to English speakers) and their language together is Hebrew. They both served in
the IDF, listen to Israeli music, sing niggunim and learn Torah together, all in Hebrew. They have
shared goals and want to live meaningful non-materialistic lives.
I look at the two of them in
wonder and amazement, never imagining this moment. I have let go of my daughter
and she has let go of her Diaspora Jewish self to become part of something
miraculous.
wonder and amazement, never imagining this moment. I have let go of my daughter
and she has let go of her Diaspora Jewish self to become part of something
miraculous.
Their path is so far from the
other side of the bridge where we originated. Our new chatan and kalla will
soon be building another beautiful Jewish home in Israel, leaving behind the
bridge that these two plate-clutching mothers built and stood on.
other side of the bridge where we originated. Our new chatan and kalla will
soon be building another beautiful Jewish home in Israel, leaving behind the
bridge that these two plate-clutching mothers built and stood on.
As we lowered our arms and let
go of the plate, we made space for the young couple to create their own path
together.
go of the plate, we made space for the young couple to create their own path
together.
Soon we will sing this
beautiful wedding song:
beautiful wedding song:
Again it will be heard in the cities of Judea,
And in the streets of Jerusalem,
The Voice of Joy and the Voice of Gladness
The Voice of the Groom and the Voice of the Bride!
And in the streets of Jerusalem,
The Voice of Joy and the Voice of Gladness
The Voice of the Groom and the Voice of the Bride!
Jeremiah 33:10-11
עוֹד יִשָׁמַע בְּעַרֵי יְהוּדָה
וּבְחוּצוֹת יְרוּשָלַיִם קוֹל שָשוֹן וְקוֹל שִמְחָה
קוֹל חָתָן וְקוֹל כָּלָה
Mazal Tov to
Aviva and Shaarya!
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Life in Israel 
Capturing this milestone event so beautifully … now and for posterity….
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Nicole, that is beautifully touching and inspiring! Ihave tears in my eyes. Aviva is so blessed to have you as her roots and as her bridge. I am sure you will always have many more meaningful metaphores to fill in their lives…I can share my experience as a seven year old Olah, who had the zchut, the merit, to grow up here, on this wonderous side of the bridge, married to a totaly born israeli (with very good english) mother of six, (sadly enough with very very poor english…) every day I am so grateful to Hashem that my parents z”l made Aliyah and took that step despite all the difficulties they had. When I think of it or hear of families making Aliyah it seems soooo hard to me!! I don't know if I would be able to do it myself!! So I try to tell whomever I meet thinking about aliyah/or Olim, what an amazing gift they are giving their children, and grandchildren… I completely admire anyone who makes this move. Thank you Nicole and Amir for making Aliyah and bringing Shaarya's beloved home to Israel! I admire you so much. I am so glad we will be joining families. Welcome dear family. As we sang together: 'It's a joy to get to know you, and I really am liking to share in your world…'With love and appreciation, Shaarya's big sister, Manya.
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Thanks for your touching words, Manya. We look forward to sharing many beautiful smachot together. Love Nicole
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