On Wednesday evening, my older son officially became a
Captain in the Israeli Army. He had just completed a rigorous, three-month
course with 90 other soldiers becoming, in Israeli terms, a mefaked pluga.
His
previous rank was lieutenant. Now, he will supervise the officers, managing a
company of up to 150 soldiers.
previous rank was lieutenant. Now, he will supervise the officers, managing a
company of up to 150 soldiers.
It has been a long four years of service for him and I
clearly remember delivering him, at the tender age of 19, at the bakum in TelAviv for his draft, his giyus. It was an emotional time for every parent and
grandparent who was there to see their children off.
clearly remember delivering him, at the tender age of 19, at the bakum in TelAviv for his draft, his giyus. It was an emotional time for every parent and
grandparent who was there to see their children off.
At the bakum, we hand our precious kids over to the IDF for
three years of military service. (Since 2013, when my son went in, the draft
time has been reduced to 33 months for boys and may go down to 30 months
soon.)
three years of military service. (Since 2013, when my son went in, the draft
time has been reduced to 33 months for boys and may go down to 30 months
soon.)
For three years, parents forfeit being the primary caregivers.
The IDF looks after medical and dental needs and emotional wellbeing. The
army feeds and clothes them. It tells them when they can go home and when
they have to go back to base, when to sleep and when to wake up.
The IDF looks after medical and dental needs and emotional wellbeing. The
army feeds and clothes them. It tells them when they can go home and when
they have to go back to base, when to sleep and when to wake up.
It is very emotional for the parents who tenderly cared for
their kids since they were born and who must then say goodbye. Every mom
secretly counts down the months until her child’s release from the army. But
what happens when your son signs on for more time?
their kids since they were born and who must then say goodbye. Every mom
secretly counts down the months until her child’s release from the army. But
what happens when your son signs on for more time?
When my son did just this, I stopped counting and simply felt
proud. How could I not? I have seen my son grow from a shy teenager to a leader
who stands tall, knows how to listen to orders and now, knows how to give
orders. The army has formed him into a real leader.
proud. How could I not? I have seen my son grow from a shy teenager to a leader
who stands tall, knows how to listen to orders and now, knows how to give
orders. The army has formed him into a real leader.
In the upcoming November draft, parents will again crowd
into the bakum. There will be a sense of apprehension and nervousness. Mothers will lock hands with their kids, not wanting
to ever let go. The boys will be clean-shaven and have buzz cuts; the girls
will have their hair tied back neatly.
into the bakum. There will be a sense of apprehension and nervousness. Mothers will lock hands with their kids, not wanting
to ever let go. The boys will be clean-shaven and have buzz cuts; the girls
will have their hair tied back neatly.
They will be trading their jeans for khaki, sandals for
boots, surfboards for weapons. Their free will is about to be forfeited for
ultimate selflessness.
boots, surfboards for weapons. Their free will is about to be forfeited for
ultimate selflessness.
Families will mill about nervously, waiting until their
kids’ names ‘flash up on a board.’
Departure time, IDF style.
kids’ names ‘flash up on a board.’
Departure time, IDF style.
Come November, some of these kids will be handed over to the
care of my son who will be their ‘mem peh’ for three months of basic training.
He will do his best to ensure their safety and imbue in them a sense of
solidarity, camaraderie and team spirit.
He will help build their confidence while teaching them respect and will
help them to succeed. Who does not want this for their child?
care of my son who will be their ‘mem peh’ for three months of basic training.
He will do his best to ensure their safety and imbue in them a sense of
solidarity, camaraderie and team spirit.
He will help build their confidence while teaching them respect and will
help them to succeed. Who does not want this for their child?
His rank of mefaked pluga does not come without a price.
This was earned after years of enduring strict discipline, of often feeling
broken and overwhelmed; of sleeping outdoors, working and training in intense
heat, rain, mud and cold; of long days with little sleep and of being
hungry; and of times filled with severe stress, the unknown and pressure.
This was earned after years of enduring strict discipline, of often feeling
broken and overwhelmed; of sleeping outdoors, working and training in intense
heat, rain, mud and cold; of long days with little sleep and of being
hungry; and of times filled with severe stress, the unknown and pressure.
I have been to many army graduations over the years but this
one was different. The ceremony was at a fancy theatre, not on a military base.
We nibbled on party sandwiches when we entered the auditorium, then sat
comfortably in plush chairs.
one was different. The ceremony was at a fancy theatre, not on a military base.
We nibbled on party sandwiches when we entered the auditorium, then sat
comfortably in plush chairs.
The big brass were there, sporting multiple ‘falafels’ on
their shoulders. And there was no military marching like I had seen before in
other military ceremonies.
their shoulders. And there was no military marching like I had seen before in
other military ceremonies.
The men walked up on stage and received their new status via
a diploma and a handshake. They may look rested and their new uniforms may be
freshly starched and spotless, but they have seen a lot: this distinction was
earned with sweat.
a diploma and a handshake. They may look rested and their new uniforms may be
freshly starched and spotless, but they have seen a lot: this distinction was
earned with sweat.
Most of these soldiers are older and married, their wives
holding squirming infants in their laps. Many babies were crying and protesting, making this place feel more like a kindergarten
than a serious ceremony.
holding squirming infants in their laps. Many babies were crying and protesting, making this place feel more like a kindergarten
than a serious ceremony.
Yet these wives are heroes as well. Their husbands are never
home and the wives are alone to raise the children. They worry and are
fearful, the children miss not having a father around.
home and the wives are alone to raise the children. They worry and are
fearful, the children miss not having a father around.
This is the ultimate sacrifice for Israelis: parents, wives,
children and the soldiers. And this is the most important work of all.
children and the soldiers. And this is the most important work of all.
I am grateful to each soldier for making such a sacrifice
for our security and safety, and offer thanks to all the new mem pehs. As they
said at the ceremony, the training is complete and now the real work must be
done.
for our security and safety, and offer thanks to all the new mem pehs. As they
said at the ceremony, the training is complete and now the real work must be
done.
Good luck and may we all learn from your dedication, inner
strength and selflessness.
strength and selflessness.
And may we all have a safe, secure new year.
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Shana Tova
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