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“Chik
chak.”
chak.”
That’s what he said when he left the Misrad Hap’nim, the Ministry of the Interior.
Black Israeli humor at its finest; there is no chik chak in government offices.
Black Israeli humor at its finest; there is no chik chak in government offices.
Here we were sitting, standing, fidgeting,
playing with smart phones, hemming and hawing, checking our watches…all waiting
to receive our new identity cards, the much acclaimed teuda zeut chacham or intelligent
identity card.
playing with smart phones, hemming and hawing, checking our watches…all waiting
to receive our new identity cards, the much acclaimed teuda zeut chacham or intelligent
identity card.
A few weeks back, we had waited in what seemed
like the longest line ever. There we filled in a form, had our photos and
fingerprints taken and were told to come back and pick up the card. Waiting
time for pick up? No more than ten minutes. Sounded pretty straightforward.
like the longest line ever. There we filled in a form, had our photos and
fingerprints taken and were told to come back and pick up the card. Waiting
time for pick up? No more than ten minutes. Sounded pretty straightforward.
Wow. Teudat zeut chacham, the smart identity card. Here we were, exchanging our regular ‘dumb’ ID
cards for the ‘smart’ version, a biometric card that reads your fingerprint and
is innovative, top-of-the-line, progressive, fraud-safe.
cards for the ‘smart’ version, a biometric card that reads your fingerprint and
is innovative, top-of-the-line, progressive, fraud-safe.
As the office told me, I received a text message saying my card
was ready and went to the pick up area in the Misrad Hap’nim, imagining it would
take ten minutes tops. I entered a packed waiting area. Most seats were taken
and people were starting to mill in the hallway. I grabbed a seat and noticed
that after 20 minutes, only one person had been served.
was ready and went to the pick up area in the Misrad Hap’nim, imagining it would
take ten minutes tops. I entered a packed waiting area. Most seats were taken
and people were starting to mill in the hallway. I grabbed a seat and noticed
that after 20 minutes, only one person had been served.
“Mi ha’acharon?” Who is last? Each new arrival asked
our growing group, as we all pointed in unison to the last in line, like tattling
children in a kindergarten. This was a chatty crowd, as are all ‘waiting’
Israelis. Be it a bank line, a grocery queue or a bomb shelter, everyone has
something to add.
our growing group, as we all pointed in unison to the last in line, like tattling
children in a kindergarten. This was a chatty crowd, as are all ‘waiting’
Israelis. Be it a bank line, a grocery queue or a bomb shelter, everyone has
something to add.
“What are they doing in there?” “How could it take
so long to pick up a card?” People craned their necks to get a peek inside.
so long to pick up a card?” People craned their necks to get a peek inside.
“Seems to me this smart identity card is not so
smart,” a man chimed in, twiddling his thumbs.
smart,” a man chimed in, twiddling his thumbs.
Everyone chuckled in agreement.
“No one values our time,” one woman said,
shooting off a text message with a whoosh.
shooting off a text message with a whoosh.
“Ma la’asot?” an older woman added. Everyone
groaned in agreement that there was nothing to do and returned to their phones. The woman’s phone then chimed the most
toxic ring tone and, pressing every button, she could not shut it off.
groaned in agreement that there was nothing to do and returned to their phones. The woman’s phone then chimed the most
toxic ring tone and, pressing every button, she could not shut it off.
“Ein ma la’asot.” A newcomer said, adding a cherry to the top of the last comment. And the group growled and clicked away on their
smartphones.
smartphones.
Hold it. I’m getting a smart I.D. card and it
is taking longer to pick it up than apply for it. Is this normal? I know
biometric sounds impressive, but is this process really efficient and smart?
is taking longer to pick it up than apply for it. Is this normal? I know
biometric sounds impressive, but is this process really efficient and smart?
I looked in the office. There was one
clerk at a desk. It reminded me of the interminable lines at the post office. Aside from the single clerk, I saw two open drawers that looked like they could
have once been filled with socks. There were index cards inside with
hand-written letters of the Hebrew alphabet. Not very biometric-looking to me.
clerk at a desk. It reminded me of the interminable lines at the post office. Aside from the single clerk, I saw two open drawers that looked like they could
have once been filled with socks. There were index cards inside with
hand-written letters of the Hebrew alphabet. Not very biometric-looking to me.
A woman came out, a new employee on the scene. We
all looked up hopefully and stared at her. She announced that if we gave her
our old identity cards, she would help make the process faster. Yippee. We all
leapt from our seats and gave her our cards.
all looked up hopefully and stared at her. She announced that if we gave her
our old identity cards, she would help make the process faster. Yippee. We all
leapt from our seats and gave her our cards.
She then went to the sock drawers and started
paper clipping the new card to our old ID cards. But nothing happened.
paper clipping the new card to our old ID cards. But nothing happened.
Thirty minutes had passed.
“Now we can’t even run away from this mess,”
one woman in the crowd remarked. “They have our old ID card and our new one.”
one woman in the crowd remarked. “They have our old ID card and our new one.”
Prisoners of this bureaucracy, everyone in the
room and in the hallway grunted and went back to their text and emails and
cyber lives. (At least they did not confiscate our cell phones, like they do at
the Canadian Consulate in Tel Aviv.)
room and in the hallway grunted and went back to their text and emails and
cyber lives. (At least they did not confiscate our cell phones, like they do at
the Canadian Consulate in Tel Aviv.)
Israel is progressive…yet is not. A case in
point. Recently, the parliament tried to pass legislation to charge shoppers for plastic grocery bags. I, an ardent canvas bag carrier, was exuberant.
Yet the bill did not pass. Why? It was
unfair to the plastic bag manufacturers, it would cost the consumer too much
and the tax ministry (not the environmental ministry) was poised to collect the
windfall.
point. Recently, the parliament tried to pass legislation to charge shoppers for plastic grocery bags. I, an ardent canvas bag carrier, was exuberant.
Yet the bill did not pass. Why? It was
unfair to the plastic bag manufacturers, it would cost the consumer too much
and the tax ministry (not the environmental ministry) was poised to collect the
windfall.
After forty minutes, it was finally my turn. My
new card was put into a computer reader, I was asked for my fingerprint and was
given an envelope to activate the card. Voila. I was ready to go forth to a
biometric future. I ran outside to find a ray of sunshine and wait for my
husband who was next in line.
new card was put into a computer reader, I was asked for my fingerprint and was
given an envelope to activate the card. Voila. I was ready to go forth to a
biometric future. I ran outside to find a ray of sunshine and wait for my
husband who was next in line.
Ten minutes later he called to tell me they couldn’t
find his card in the sock drawer. Twenty
minutes later he called exasperated. Maybe the letter beit from his surname was filed under the letter tzaddik. He eventually came outside
biometrically card-less.
find his card in the sock drawer. Twenty
minutes later he called exasperated. Maybe the letter beit from his surname was filed under the letter tzaddik. He eventually came outside
biometrically card-less.
We were halfway home when we received a call
that the card was finally located, making a sharp U-turn and heading back to bureaucracy.
that the card was finally located, making a sharp U-turn and heading back to bureaucracy.
This morning’s trial showed us yet again that Israel is surely a country of
miracles. Who runs Israel? Certainly not the Interior Ministry. Not only has
Israel survived 66 years surrounded by enemies, faced with wars, entangled in intense
bureaucracy and internal political strife, its economy has grown exponentially, it
has made countless scientific discoveries, medical advances and is a leading start-up nation.
miracles. Who runs Israel? Certainly not the Interior Ministry. Not only has
Israel survived 66 years surrounded by enemies, faced with wars, entangled in intense
bureaucracy and internal political strife, its economy has grown exponentially, it
has made countless scientific discoveries, medical advances and is a leading start-up nation.
Who runs Israel? My husband and I looked beyond
the bulldozers carving out highways and the multitude of cranes building blocks
of apartments. We looked way, way up to the blue sky above. And we smiled. In
Israel, we are often reminded about Who runs the show and Who ensures the
existence of this tiny country every moment of the day. Chik chak.
the bulldozers carving out highways and the multitude of cranes building blocks
of apartments. We looked way, way up to the blue sky above. And we smiled. In
Israel, we are often reminded about Who runs the show and Who ensures the
existence of this tiny country every moment of the day. Chik chak.
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